Boring the Arse Off Young People

A book that adds some new funny poems to the best of the early funny stuff in Ahem (Eggbox) and Little Book of Harm (Firewater Press).

Middle aged people today don’t know they’re born.
What do they think they’re up to? They should be
occupying their time with: jigsaws, the litter problem,
gravy, coach trips to the Norfolk Lavender Fields.

But no, they’re at Glastonbury boring the arse of young people
about Dylan or how they saw The Who in their hey day in 68,
doing degrees with no possible practical application, motorcycling
across India to find themselves.

There’s even one reading you this poem, and look
he’s wearing red trainers with white stripes.

“Midnight walks where “the moon snags on the cathedral’s spire” rub shoulders with nightmares in which an ex-lover squeezes “the creams / for my skin diseases into the bag where my favourite cheese is” in a collection of poems guaranteed to warm the heart and tickle even the most grumpy of rib cages.”
-Michelle McGrane, Peony Moon

“There’s a literary sensibility that takes the poems beyond simple stand-up routines and into more complex territory. Take the haiku ‘Family Christmas’:
…….Every single year
…….we gather around the tree
…….opening old wounds.
Simple, but says it all.

-Nick Arbury, Sphinx

“….the humour, just like the humour in a Randy Newman song, is at its most effective when it’s used to set up a more serious pay-off……‘AHEM’, what starts light-heartedly develops into a low-key elegy for an entire generation “who knew their place and never thought the universities/ were for the likes of them, but prayed for office jobs/ for their children. . .”
-Matt Merritt, Sphinx

“….as much craft as Figura’s more ambitious and more serious work.”
-London Grip